《黑暗骑士》小丑台词精选｜Joker 名场面回顾，看见人性深处的混乱
开场抢劫黑帮银行：小丑的混乱规则登场
场景：小丑（此时化名 Bozo）杀死公交车司机后，捡起最后一个行李袋，扔进了车里，准备上车离开银行。银行经理带着伤、躺在地上仍不屈地质问他——
[Bozo casually shoots the bus driver dead, then picks up the last duffel and throws it into the bus. Bozo prepares to climb in]哥谭国家银行经理：你以为你很聪明？花钱雇你们的人，会让你的下场跟他们一样。以前的坏人，是很有信念的，荣誉，尊重，看看你，你能信什么？你他妈能信什么？！
Think you’re smart, huh? The guy that hired youze, he’ll just do the same to you. Oh, criminals in this town used to believe in things. Honor. Respect. Look at you! What do you believe in, huh? WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IN?
小丑：（把一颗毒气手榴弹塞进经理嘴里）我相信，那些杀不死你的东西，会让你变得
[putting a gas grenade in the banker’s mouth] I believe, whatever doesn’t kill you, simply makes you…（摘下面具，露出小丑的真容）
[takes off his mask revealing the face of the Joker]小丑： 更加怪异。
…stranger.
小丑刚抢完黑帮的钱又 “登堂入室” 与黑帮谈判索要更多钱
场景：黑帮会议 Mob Meeting
小丑：咱们从一年前说起吧，那时警察跟律师，谁敢动你们一根毫毛？可现在，现在怎么了？茄子被霜打了吗？你看，像我这样的人…
Let’s wind the clocks back a year. These cops and lawyers wouldn’t dare cross any of you. I mean, what happened? Did your balls drop off? Hmm? You see, a guy like me…
甘博：怪物。
A freak.
（众黑帮成员笑）
[The mobsters laugh]黑帮成员 Mobster 2：说的对。
Damn right.
小丑：像我这样的人，给我听着，我知道你们为什么把集会的时间选在白天。我知道你们为什么晚上不敢出门，因为蝙蝠侠。真不幸，蝙蝠侠让哥谭市看到了你们不为人知的一面。登特，他只不过是开始，至于电视里那个所谓的 “计划”，别忘了蝙蝠侠是从不讲法的，他会找到那小子，逼他全吐出来。叛徒长什么样我一眼就能看出来，而他…
A guy like me–look, listen. I know why you choose to have your little group therapy sessions in broad daylight. I know why you’re afraid to go out at night…The Batman. You see, Batman has shown Gotham your true colors, unfortunately. Dent, he’s just the beginning. And as for the television’s so-called “plan”, Batman has no jurisdiction. He’ll find him and make him squeal. I know the squealers when I see them, and…
（电视里视频参会的刘关闭了屏幕）
[Lau turns off the tv from his side]车臣分子： 那你的意思是？
What do you propose?
小丑：很简单，杀了蝙蝠侠。
It’s simple, we, uh, kill the Batman.
（众黑帮成员再次笑）
[The mobsters laugh]马洛尼：如果真那么简单，你怎么还没杀了他？
If it’s so simple, why haven’t you done it already?
小丑：如果你有过人的本事，就不要轻易做白工。
If you’re good at something, never do it for free.
车臣分子：你要多少？
How much you want?
小丑：呃，一半吧。
Uh, half.
（黑帮成员再次发出哄笑）
[The mobsters laugh again]甘博：你疯了。
You’re crazy.
小丑： 没，我没疯。如果不快点下决定，很快，这位小甘博先生就会一分钱都捞不到了。
No, I’m not. No I’m not. If we don’t deal with this now, soon…little, uh, Gambol here won’t be able to get a nickel for his grandma.
录像威胁：小丑逼蝙蝠侠自首
场景：小丑杀掉一位假扮蝙蝠侠的人，并录了一段录像。
小丑（在录像里）：想让哥谭市恢复秩序，蝙蝠侠必须摘下面具去自首。只要他不自首，就天天会有人送命。今晚就开始。我可是言出必行。
You want order in Gotham, Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn’t, people will die. Starting tonight. I’m a man of my word.
警局审讯室：蝙蝠侠对小丑动手
场景：在警局关押室，蝙蝠侠在黑暗中突然出现在小丑身后，在怒火中重重将小丑的头砸在桌面上。
小丑：千万别先打头，受害者先是头晕，然后就感受不到你下次的…
Never start with the head. The victim gets all fuzzy, he can’t feel the next…
（蝙蝠侠又砸向小丑的手背）
小丑（感觉不到疼）：明白了？
See?
蝙蝠侠：你要找的是我，现在我来了。
You wanted me. Here I am.
小丑：我想看看你会怎么做，你果然也没让我失望。你让五个人因你而死，然后让登特替你背黑锅。就算在我这种人看来，也太冷血了。
I wanted to see what you’d do. And you didn’t disappoint. You let five people die, then you let Dent take your place. Even to a guy like me, that’s cold.
蝙蝠侠：登特在哪儿？
Where’s Dent?
小丑：那些黑帮的白痴想让你消失，他们就可以重新随心所欲了。但是我知道真相，没回头路可走了，你已经改变了一切，而且是永远的。
Those Mob fools want you gone so they can get back to the way things were. But I know the truth. There’s no going back. You’ve changed things. Forever.
蝙蝠侠：那你为什么想杀我？
Then why do you wanna kill me?
小丑（大笑）：我才没想杀你，没了你我可怎么办？回头去敲黑帮贩子的竹杠？没门儿！我才不想那样。是你，是你让我变得更加完整！
I don’t wanna kill you, what would I do without you? Go back to ripping off Mob dealers? No, no. No, no. You… you complete me.
蝙蝠侠：你是个为钱杀人的垃圾。
You’re garbage who kills for money.
小丑：别学得像那帮人一样，你和他们不同类。就算你想，也不可能。在他们眼里，你就是个怪物，跟我一样。他们现在是用到你了，但用完了之后，拼命躲你都怕来不及。你也明白，他们的道德准则，都是些烂透的笑话，有个小灾小难就屁滚尿流了。
规矩能容忍他们到哪里，他们就遵守到哪里。我就让你看看。只要一有风吹草动，这些，这些所谓的 “有教养人士” 会互相生吃了对方的。你看，我不算是怪物，只不过我的水平高人一等罢了。
Don’t talk like one of them. You’re not. Even if you’d like to be. To them, you’re just a freak, like me. They need you right now, but when they don’t, they’ll cast you out like a leper. You see, their morals, their code… it’s a bad joke. Dropped at the first sign of trouble.
They’re only as good as the world allows them to be. I’ll show you, when the chips are down, these, these civilized people they’ll eat each other. See, I’m not a monster, I’m just ahead of the curve.
蝙蝠侠：登特在哪？
Where’s Dent?
小丑：你一直遵守这些规则，还觉得它们能救了你。
You have all these rules, and you think they’ll save you.
蝙蝠侠：我只有一条规则。
I have one rule.
小丑：噢， 那只要打破它，真相就在你眼前了。
Oh, then that’s the rule you’ll have to break to know the truth.
蝙蝠侠：真相？
Which is?
小丑：最聪明的生活方式就是不管所有规则。而且今晚，你就要打破你唯一的规则了。
The only sensible way to live is without rules. And tonight you’re gonna break your one rule.
蝙蝠侠：我想也是。
I’m considering it.
炸医院的倒计时：小丑阻止瑞斯揭露蝙蝠侠身份
场景：韦恩企业的并购会计师瑞斯在电视台直播中打算揭露蝙蝠侠真实身份，小丑一个电话打到直播现场：没有蝙蝠侠的城市可不好玩。这是小丑操控民众、让游戏规则再度翻转的经典场景。
小丑（打电话）：我感受到了天兆，一个没有蝙蝠侠的世界，匪徒继续小偷小摸，好像例行公事，警察呢，慢吞吞地破掉每一个案子。那可就太无聊了。我改变主意了。我不想让瑞斯先生来大煞风景。但光我自己玩也不太像话吧？也得给别人一个机会啊。如果一个小时之内，科尔曼瑞斯还没死的话，我就炸掉一所医院。
I had a vision of a world without Batman. The Mob ground out a little profit, and the police tried to shut them down one block at a time. And it was so boring. I’ve had a change of heart. I don’t want Mr. Reese spoiling everything. But why should I have all the fun? Let’s give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn’t dead in 60 minutes, then I blow up a hospital.
医院策反：小丑诱导哈维走向堕落
场景：哈维·丹特在医院病床上脸部受伤虚弱，小丑趁虚而入，用 “是体制让你失去瑞秋” 的话术一步步引导他放弃原本对正义与法律的信仰，完成 “光明骑士” 到 “双面人” 的堕落转变。
小丑：你好啊。你看，哈维，我不想把咱们的关系搞得太紧张。当你和那个…
Hi. You know, I don’t want there to be any hard feelings between us, Harvey. When you and…
哈维：瑞秋！
Rachel!
小丑：和瑞秋被绑架的时候，我还在戈登的大牢里关着呢。策划这事儿的不是我。
Rachel were being abducted, I was sitting in Gordon’s cage, I didn’t rig those charges.
哈维：计划和人都是你出的。
Your men, your plan.
小丑：你看看我像个按计划办事的人么？你还不了解我吧？我就是那追着汽车的狗，就算真追上了也不知道拿它怎么办。我不过是，为办事而办事。
黑帮的人有计划，警方的人有计划，就连戈登也有。要知道，他们都是阴谋家，阴谋家总是把自己的 “小世界” 牢牢握在手心的。
我不算个阴谋家。我是让那些阴谋家意识到，他们为掌控一切而做出的努力，到底有多可悲，多可笑。
所以当我说，来，别怕，当我说你和你女朋友的惨事，不是我出于个人恩怨干的，你就知道了，我说的都是实话。
你之所以这么惨，全是那些阴谋家造成的。你曾经也是个阴谋家，你有自己的计划。结果看看，把自己 “计划” 成什么样儿了？
我不过是干了自己该干的。我利用了你的小计划，然后把形势逆转了一下，看看我只用几个油桶和几颗子弹，就把这城市搞成什么样了？嗯？猜一猜我发现了什么？当 “计划进行完美” 的时候，没人会感到特别不安。即便那个计划是惨无人道的。假如我明天告诉媒体说 “我要毙了一个少年犯” 或者 “炸死一卡车士兵”，没人会感到慌张。
因为那全是既有计划中的一个环节。但当我说 “那个不值钱的老市长会死” 的时候，那你看，大家都像疯了似的！
引进一些 “混乱” 的概念，扰乱一切早定好的秩序，一切的一切，就会变得一团混沌。
我，就是混沌的代言人。对了，说到 “混沌”，你知道其本质吗？就是 “公平合理”。
Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I am a dog chasing cars, I wouldn’t know what to do with one if I caught it. You know? I just do things.
The Mob has plans. The cops have plans. Gordon’s got plans. You know, they’re schemers, schemers trying to control their little worlds.
I’m not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.
So, when I say, ah, come here, when I say that you and your girlfriend was nothing personal, you will know that I’m telling the truth.
It’s the schemers that put you where you are. You were a schemer, you had plans, and look where that got you.
I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmm? You know what I noticed? Nobody panics when things go “according to plan.” Even if the plan is horrifying. If tomorrow I tell the press that, like, a gangbanger will get shot, or a truckload of soldiers will be blowing up, nobody panics.
Because it’s all part of the plan. But when I say that one little old mayor will die, well, then, everyone loses their minds!
Introduce a little anarchy upset the established order and everything becomes chaos.
I’m an agent of chaos. Oh, and you know the thing about chaos? It’s fair.
终局之战：蝙蝠侠击败小丑，却拒绝杀他
场景：小丑挑衅蝙蝠侠，希望被杀，完成 “堕落对堕落” 的双人悲剧；蝙蝠侠将其丢下大厦却又拉住他，让他活着接受失败。
（远处渡轮过了午夜 12 点依然没有被引爆。）
蝙蝠侠：你想证明什么？每个人内心深处都像你一样丑陋？你孤独一人。
What were you trying to prove? That deep down, everyone’s as ugly as you? You’re alone.
小丑：如今真是谁也靠不住了，什么都得自己来，是不是？
Can’t rely on anyone else these days. You gotta do everything yourself. Don’t we?
（一番打斗过后，蝙蝠侠将小丑丢出大厦窗户，却又用蝙蝠钢索将其拉回来）
小丑：哦，你呀你呀，你就是不能让我死一死，对吧？这可真是 “任你花招百出，我自巍然不动” 啊。你果然是不可败坏的人，不是吗？嗯？你不会杀我，是因为你有一种错位的自我正义感。而我也不会杀你，因为与你斗真是其乐无穷。我猜，咱们命中注定要这样一辈子。
Oh, you. You just couldn’t let me go, could you? This is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. You truly are incorruptible, aren’t you? Huh? You won’t kill me, out of some misplaced sense of self-righteousness. And I won’t kill you, because you’re just too much fun. I think you and I are destined to do this forever.
蝙蝠侠：你就在精神病院关一辈子吧。
You’ll be in a padded cell forever.
小丑：我这间可以分你一半。你看，这城市的疯子越来越多，将来总有两人合住的那天。
Maybe we could share one. You know, they’ll be doubling up the rate this city’s inhabitants are losing their minds.
蝙蝠侠：这座城市刚给你展示了深信正义者还大有人在。
This city just showed you that it’s full of people ready to believe in good.
小丑：等他们的精神支柱崩溃了就不会有了。等他们亲眼所见一个真实的哈维登特，还有他所有的那些 “英雄事迹”。你不会真以为，我会把牵扯到 “哥谭市之魂” 的战斗，全寄托在和你拳打脚踢上吧？怎么可能？你手里得有王牌可打。我这张就是哈维。
Until their spirit breaks completely. Until they get a good look at the real Harvey Dent, and all the heroic things he’s done. You didn’t think I’d risk losing the battle for Gotham’s soul in a fistfight with you? No, you need an ace in the hole. Mine is Harvey.
蝙蝠侠：你把他怎么样了？
What did you do?
小丑：我侵蚀了哥谭市的光明骑士，而且把他降格到咱们这个层次了。那一点也不难，如你所知，“癫狂” 这东西，就好比一股引力，只需小小的推动，人就飘向那里了。
I took Gotham’s white knight and I brought him down to our level. It wasn’t hard. See, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push.